My workout routines are split between running outside, working out at the gym and playing basketball.

Working out at the gym is always an adventure in people-watching.

My workout ususally consists of 30 minutes on the treadmill followed by 30 minutes on the stationary bike.  I see a lot while running and spinning.

0530: I step onto the treadmill and count how many people are doing cardio (20).

0531: I begin to walk and note one particular interesting person on the bikes … Harley Davidson Outfit Dude.  He’s got a black shirt and shorts and matching hat that all sport the Harley Davidson logo with red flames.  He’s about 240 lbs.  He’s not sweating.

0537: I’ve now upped the speed on the treadmill and am jogging.  I take interest in another fellow treadmill runner.  He’s wearing running shorts, a t-shirt and running shoes.  I guess he’s pushing the treadmill to the limits.  His legs are a blug and he’s sweating.  Cool guy.

0544: I’m almost halfway home on my treadmill workout.  Two more fellow treadmillers join the ranks.  One is a man and looks fit.  The other is a 40-something woman who looks like she sits around all day and reads Harlequin novels.

0546: The superman fit runner who was pushing the treadmill to the limits is cooling off while the other dude and Harlequin are starting to walk.  Uh … check that.  Harlequin is now stopped and adjusting headphones … she’s wasting valuable membership money by not working out.

0555: Five minutes to go.  Super fit runner dude is gone.  Other fellow runner dude is not a runner.  Whenever he lifts his left leg, his head bobs down.  It’s like there’s a string attached to his left knee and neck … it looks really painful.  My eyes are fixed on Amateur Runner dude.  He’s going to spill any minute … he’s going to bite the handle bar.  His arms are flailing like the runners in Chariots of Fire.  His nostrils are flared.  His hamstring is going to blow any second now.  This is going to be great!

0556: 4 minutes to go … 4 x 60 = 240 … 240 seconds.  239, 238, 237, 236 …  He still hasn’t bit it yet.  He’s pushing himself.  It’s as if his trying to outrun a mobster in a car.  Hands are doing karate chops in the air.  Head bobbing, hair flying … come on!  Let’s see him grip that hamstring!  Blow damn it, blow! 215, 214, 213 ….

0559: Come on … keep pushing … I’m almost there! 30, 29, 28, 27 … 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 … beep!

0600: My treadmill workout is done.  I get off and walk to the back to exchange towels and get a drink.  Then I hear it.  A scream of agony.  Bone against metal.  A curse word and then gasps.  I know immediately what happened.  I see a crowd gather around the fallen runner while a trainer runs to him with a first aid kit.  Our hero is writhing in pain; clutching his hamstring; blood on his nose and mouth.  He overdid it.  He’s crying.  Poor fellow.

0603: I mount the stationary bike.  Place a towel on each arm rest and use the other three towels to dry my face, arms and chest.  I glace back at Hamstring … the medics have arrived and are carting him out on a stretcher.  I give him a salute.

0610: Sweat is pouring down my face.  I look up and see Harlequin is now walking … oops … she just stopped.  Now she’s patting her face with a hand towel … coins going down a drain.

0620: I stop.  I’m exhausted.  Harlequin is now chatting on her cell phone!  Free money for the gym.  It’s a sad sight.  I walk to the lockers and peel off my shirt.  Today, the reaction isn’t so bad.  I had just been sheared the day before and the man-silk is in the mail.  My workout is done.

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