September 2007

There is a man here at work who is just raw.  He is jittery, jumpy and seems like he could go ballistic at any moment.  If I were to predict who of all the employees would be the first to flip and either have an emotional melt-down or go postal, Mr. Caffeine would be numero uno on my list.

His name is Frank.  Because Frank drinks a gallon of coffee and three Monster drinks a day, he is very entertaining to watch.  One day, one of my collegues walked in Frank’s office.  Frank was intensly focused on reading an email.  My collegue decided to drop a dictionary on the floor of Frank’s hardwood floor.  Instantaneously, Frank threw his arms over his head and dropped to the floor as if he were being fired upon.

Frank has no tact.  He is raw.  A normal person who gets 7 hours of sleep might ask for a status update on an item thusly, “Hey Sam!  How ya doin’?”  Sam would respond accordingly.  “When you get a minute, could you please send me an update on the first phase of the project?”

Frank, on the other hand, would curtly and directly demand that Sam give him the update.  “Sam, I need the damn update yesterday!”

Frank is indeed Full Throttle


Today’s Basic Instructions is very funny (as they usually are).  I encourage you to subsribe to the blog to read this great strip.


The reason I find this one particularly funny is because of my recent rash.  It may not be a rash, but rather some form of eczema.  My skin has always been clear and healthy.  But in the last few months, the area around my nose and right eyelid have suffered some very mild eczema.  I compare it to snake skin … in that my skin is healthy, looks great for a few weeks and then suddenly it begins to scale.  I’ll have dry skin in those areas for a few days and then it’ll be back to normal.

It’s during these days that I suffer emotionally.  In fact this weekend I’m going through a bout with it.  I feel like a leper … like some sort of freak-show.  Because the skin not only is dry, but red sometimes, the most common comment I get from my co-workers is “got a lot of sun yesterday huh?”  I usually just smile and nod.  But it really annoys the hell out of me.  I want to tell them that I really have a highly contagious skin ailment and that I just rubbed my nose all over their keyboards.

Today my wife told me that my eye looks like it’s been hit.  So when other people at church started asking me what happened to my eye, I tell them that I disobeyed my wife yesterday when she asked me to mow the lawn.  Then I take a step closer to the person and whisper, “don’t ever tell Jill to take a hike … she’ll flip.”  The person’s eyes widen and act like they’ve just heard the juciest of rumors.